is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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