Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
