exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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