i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize