My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
