So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
