Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
