Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
