If that was your dad, he is hot
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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