i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
