How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
