Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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