Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
