Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
