they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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