Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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