Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
