i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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