I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
