Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
