just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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