The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
