Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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