Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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