I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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