??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
