is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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