Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
