I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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