If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
