Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
