The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
