There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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