Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
