is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
