So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
