if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
try to milk me bitch
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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