Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You can't motorboat a personality
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
