So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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