This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
