wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
