You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
