lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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