I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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