super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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