The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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