What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
