i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
