and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize