whats a polygalesbian?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I swiped left on my soulmate