I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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