life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I just went to clothing optional bar