I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
