I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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