My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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