Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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