I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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