I faked an abortion last night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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