you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
