After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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