So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
